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Thoughts from an Adoptive Father

October 22nd, 2012 | Posted by Carlos Whittaker in Parenting

Editor’s note: Our bloggers often share their tips for parenting and keeping children well. Today’s post is a little different. Blogger Carlos Whittaker writes a touching post about the responsibility he feels toward his son’s biological father in Korea and his promise to do a good job being the young man’s dad. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Vanderbilt, Monroe Carell Jr. Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt, Children, Kids, Carlos Whittaker, adoption, parenting, father, son, hair, dreams, relationships

When I was messing with your hair that day, right after this picture was taken, my heart took a left when I figured it would have taken a right.
To the right would have been throwing you on the sofa and tickling you until you fart.
To the left was that place I accidentally stumble into every few months.
That place that looks, tastes, smells, and feels funny.
The last few strokes of your hair I imagined your father’s hair.
It must feel similar to this.
It must be light and wispy.
I wonder, right now, if his fingers are running through his hair.
But he’s probably wearing a hat.
I wonder if his hands smell like the fish that he has been catching all day.
I hope they do, or his day wouldn’t have been good.
I wonder if they are more calloused than they were a year ago.
I’m sure those nets are a pain.
I wonder if when he looks at his hands…he wonders about yours.

And so I walked outside, looked up to the sky, and screamed… “He’s OK!!!!”

When I walked back into the house I had this romantic thought that maybe…

Right before I looked up…

He got off his fishing boat…

Looked up…

And screamed

? ??? ???!
(Is my son OK?!)

Then I looked at the clock and realized it was 2 am in Seoul.
I got sad for a second…that my dream was a joke…
Until I realized…
He was probably dreaming of you.
Laying on his wispy hair.

I’m doing the best I can sir…

Promise.
Los

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