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New Parenthood Musings

August 20th, 2012 | Posted by JeffGoins in Parenting
Vanderbilt, Monroe Carell Jr. Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt, Children, Kids, Jeff Goins, New Parenthood Musings, infant, parenting, parents, sleep deprived, sleep deprivation, hygiene

My son and me

I caught my wife rocking in place the other day—for no apparent reason. Often, I find myself habitually humming lullabies without realizing it. Everywhere I turn, there are receiving blankets. We now own more plush toys than I ever would have imagined.

Yes, we are new parents. And yes, we’re a little crazy. But so are most new mommies and daddies, I’ve learned.

Here are three reasons why:

1. We don’t know any better.

This is our first go at this thing called parenthood. So if you see us picking up our baby the first time he sniffles, cut us a little slack.

This is the same motivation that drives us to the dryer or exhaust fan at the smallest sign of a sob. We’re rookies; everything feels like an emergency. We’ll get over the drama, hopefully.

2. We’re sleep-deprived.

Our brains and bodies weren’t made to function in such conditions. Bizarre stuff can happen when you sleep in two-hour increments.

For example, the other night, I kept talking about our 13-year-old. Annoyed, wife finally shook me and said, “Jeff, we don’t have a 13 year-old!”

Frustrated, I huffed, “I MEANT our 13-month-old.” She shook her head as I dozed back to sleep.

Our son is 9 weeks old.

3. We love our children.

This is the real reason for our insanity: we love these little lives to pieces.

That’s why we go days without showering, why our biceps are humongous from rocking back and forth (even after we put the baby to bed), and why we continue to subject ourselves to this madness. We can’t help it.

So what if we’re a little crazy? Given the motivations, maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.

Jeff Goins and his wife live just outside of Nashville with their son and dog. You can visit him online at his blog or on Twitter @jeffgoins.

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24 Comments

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24 Responses

  • Becky Daye says:

    Quite possibly my favorite post…
    You be as crazy as you want to be. It does ease up a bit, but the love thing? That only grows (if that is possible!).

  • This brings back so many memories for me, Jeff. A few weeks after my son was born I caught myself doing that back and forth baby sway in the check out line at the grocery store…but the baby was at home with dad. ;) I just remember every thing being pretty much trial and error. No matter how prepared you are…there is nothing like the hands on learning when it comes to parenting

  • Penny Lane says:

    My daughter is almost 8 and I still find myself rocking if I stand in one place for any length of time. (We had a lot of rocking moments since she was a very colicky baby). It is all worth it though, even the sleep deprivation.

  • Great post! The sleep deprivation thing is hard but I would do it all over again for my boy :)

  • you are right where you are supposed to be!! enjoy the crazy

  • Pingback: How New Parenthood Is Slowly Making Me Crazy | Goins, Writer

  • Jeff, two short stories come to mind when I think back in time when our son was an infant.

    One time I was deplaning, and of course everyone was trying to get off at once. Ahead of me was a father with a yearling on his shoulder, sound asleep, without a care in the world. Behind him was a big guy with a baritone voice that boomed,
    “Enjoy it while you can, kid.”
    Everyone on the plane behind him laughed, yet the baby continued to sleep.

    Our son, Geoff, had colic and projectile vomiting as a newborn, and my wife and I were dragging from the ordeal which lasted about 6 months. I showed up for work after a typically sleepless night, and a coworker said,
    “Enjoy it while you can, it gets worse.”

    I can report that kick in the gut turned out NOT to be true.

    My best wishes for this precious time in your lives.

  • Jenn Discher says:

    One of the most encouraging things I heard as a new, sleep deprived mom of 4 weeks was, “it gets easier, honey.” They will eventually sleep–and so will you! And, bizarrely, someday you may miss these early days.

  • Jeff, you’ll be comforted to discover that you’re not alone. Parenting is a socially-shared form of insanity. A few years from now you’ll meet a young couple who is holding their brand new bundle of joy. As they awkwardly shift the baby in their arms, trying to comfort or feed them, you’ll find yourself swaying back and forth with them, intuitively doing “the baby bob” you learned so well in the first weeks and months of comforting your own.

    Great article. Welcome to the new normal.

  • I remember those days, and because I was one of those “first timers” too, I just smile and nod when I see new parents in action. Your post brought back some fond memories. When my daughter was little, it took me a few minutes to shed the “mommy” voice when my husband came home from work. More than once I cut up his dinner for him, and poured him milk in a sippy cup before I realized what I was doing. :) Thanks for sharing….and making me smile.

  • Crysloves says:

    #2, cracking up! Hilarious!!

  • Crysloves says:

    Sorry to use your comments but the comment above me, Pamela Williamson, reminded me of when I would go to feed my husband the babies food, it hand him her bottle. Awe, those memories bring such laughter. Thanks for being an outlet.

  • I took my kids to the doctor a while back for their yearly checkups, and I saw a new mom and dad both trying to calm their newborn. They had the giant diaper bag, the carrier/stroller, and all the signs of worry. It made me realize how far I had come as a parent, and it made me want to go help. But then, I would be one of those “crazy strangers offering unsolicited advice.” haha. Welcome to the crazy!

  • kimahall says:

    Welcome to the club, Jeff! My dad told us that if we waited til we were ready to have kids, we would never have them, and whenever we did, we wouldn’t be ready anyway. He was right on both counts. Enjoy your little bundle of joy!

  • Welcome to the Club of Wide-Eyed, Sleep-Deprived, Baby-Lovin’ Crazies. My son is 16; my daughter will be 13 in a month. The baby days were tough in a lot of ways as my marriage crumbled and my daughter suffered severe colic for almost eight months…. But I prayed, and rocked, kissed and cuddled, read stories, gave baths, and soaked it all in, trusting that God would take care of us as I took care of the treasures He loaned me. Somehow, it seems He has.

  • penneyfox says:

    I use to hear the expression that ‘babies are so cute to make us remember this time when they become teenagers.’ My son is 8 going on 16 – and I TOTALLY get it now!

    Like the others have said, it does get better and you both will be excited on the day when you’ve realized you and your son have slept all the way through the night. You’ll look back on this time and realize how much a body and mind can endure on such little sleep. Enjoy this time together – it’ll be over quicker then you realize :)

  • Cynthia Manley says:

    I realized when mine was a newborn why sleep deprivation is used as a torture device! You’ll look back a year from now and be amazed that you got anything done. Also, I once heard but cannot speak to its veracity that we all instinctively sway the baby at a similar specific pace and that it corresponds to an expectant mother’s walk so it mimics en utero movement. May be urban legend but makes some sense from a biologic perspective.

  • Arlen Miller says:

    Love it, Jeff.