Recently I have received questions from my mom-friends about their children’s “sucking behaviors.” Many of us have or know infants and children who chew on appropriate “non-nutritive” accessories such as pacifiers, bottles, their fingers or their moms. However, some of us have children who salivate over less common props. The following masticating superstars are mentioned with their parents’ permission:

1. Evan Miller: Angel baby who thinks a blanket is for eating, not staying warm.
2. Elias: Adorable 4-year-old who likes to mutilate the ear of his orange monster, turning it into a wet, droopy rag. This happens before going to bed or when happily ensconced in front of the TV.
3. Leo: Ridiculously smart 8-year-old who chews holes into the front of his T-shirts whenever he has a new teacher or a test.

These three little “suckers” are actually showing completely normal behaviors. Sucking and chewing are fundamentally “organizing” activities as some of my therapist friends phrase it. Translation: it is calming.

Researchers have shown that this type of oral stimulation helps release hormones and neurotransmitters, which are soothing to the brain. Translation: it feels good.

Furthermore, one of the foremost researchers in this area, Dr. L. Foster Anthony, showed that these behaviors are incredibly common, go away as children get older, and reflect a “negative” mood. (Hmmm, you mean taking tests may be stressful?) In this case, chewing on fabric can be both a sign that a child is anxious and a sign that he is coping with the situation, in his own way.

The vast majority of us have behaviors we use to calm ourselves, make ourselves feel good or help us cope with stress. Some of these are leftovers from childhood, some of them we develop as adults. Some are more noticeable than others.

For example, locking the bathroom door to escape and read a stack of fluff magazines is not a maladaptive habit: it is a coping mechanism and favors the survival of the entire family.

The most important thing about chewing, sucking and other such behaviors is that it ALWAYS seems to bother parents more than children, caregivers or even teachers.

So next time your darling chews another hole in her new T-shirt, my advice is to:

1. Ask yourself is this stress or just a fun time?
2. Tell yourself how awesome your child is at coping.
3. Find something for yourself to chew on to keep this from driving you nuts!

So does your child chew on something? Do you? Come on, fess up!

By Dr. Nathalie Maitre, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics, Division of Neonatology